February 2012
19 posts
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Put a fork in it...
It may have seemed unnecessary to label the flatware, but having witnessed Gary’s embarrassing attempt to scoop guacamole with a wine glass at last year’s picnic, Elaine wasn’t taking any chances.
Cutting a rug...
Their pal Lloyd savagely tied up as an example, the area rugs huddled together in fear and vowed never to disturb Gary’s reading again.
Homophoning it in...
I’m not taking the blame for this decorating mishap in Gary Jr.’s room, Elaine. What kid is interested in plains?
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Free space...
His poker night canceled at the last minute, Gary returned to find his assumptions of what Elaine did when she was home alone to be frighteningly accurate.
Gary and Elaine make an appearance on... →
Have a heart...
Wow, a corkscrew inside a ramekin, you shouldn’t have, Gary. I take it this is your way of telling me you forgot to make dinner?
Scooping it up...
Elaine’s love of watching Gary struggle with the apple outweighed her desire to inform him that just because something is in a bowl doesn’t mean it’s meant to be eaten with a spoon.
Table talk...
Despite the persistent dull thuds of individual apples being dropped on the floor, Elaine refused to give in to Gary’s passive aggressive demand for a coffee table.
Turned-down service...
Elaine is the ultimate hostess, even when sending Gary to sleep on the mudroom bench for the night.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Spring into action...
Unusually warm winter weather meant an early glimpse at the annual mating ritual of the male chair offering the female its cushions
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
It's up to hue...
Elaine, can you bring me something to drink, preferably something that matches the chaise cushion?
The great escape...
Elaine, we can argue about who left the door open later. For now let’s concentrate on catching the hutch before he makes it to the street.
The art of the matter...
Oooh Gary, I love these new paintings so much, they definitely deserve to be in the prominent display area between the sofa and the wall.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Guest-ing game...
Gary and Elaine’s friend Alan Smith always appreciated the personalized guest towels, but could do without the dig at his ever-changing roster of girlfriends.
January 2012
29 posts
Linen let die...
As Gary saw the supply of torn-out book pages dwindle, he shuddered in disgust at the idea of going back to using napkins to wipe his mouth at dinner.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Packing it in...
Yes Gary, we do need all of this for the picnic. As it is I’m bringing fewer brussels sprouts than I’m comfortable with.
Wooden you know it...
As Gary peered into Aunt Martha’s bag, he got a clue as to why women’s purses are always so heavy.
Neutral territory...
“Decals?” Gary yelled, incredulous that their house didn’t actually overlook a black and white pond and forest preserve.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
The great cover up...
Elaine wasn’t sure what Gary was reading, but she hoped for his sake it was the latest issue of How to Tell a Rug From a Blanket.
Conch as conch can...
Elaine, I’m bored of spying on the neighbors. What do you say you slide that shell tray out from under the sofa and let’s have some real fun?
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Foreign policy...
Elaine, I know you put these reminders up throughout the house, but I’m still having a devil of a time trying to learn our new exchange student’s name.
Perchance to dream...
Elaine, I say we lower those butterflies another foot. Then at least she’ll have to work for it if she wants to come into our bedroom in the middle of the night.
Labor of no love...
Elaine, don’t you think we’re limiting ourselves by scheduling these truffle hunts so far in advance?
The best part of waking up...
Gary, I don’t think I’m saying anything particularly surprising when I tell you this was not your best breakfast effort.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Pillow talk...
Following the throw pillow stampede, all that remained of Aunt Judy was her trademark purple hat.
Gone to pot...
Gary was unable to come to terms with the impractical realities of Elaine’s claim that “keeping plants in pots is so 2011.”
Beachy keen...
It took some work, but Gary was confident Elaine would finally stop whining about wanting an “open concept” home.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Saguaro, so good.
Elaine came home a few minutes early, just in time to catch Gary’s cactus wedding recessional.
File under unnecessary...
A ship in a bottle is old news Elaine. Feast your eyes on…business files in a lamp base!
Check out my guest post on the very funny Etsy... →
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Dropping in...
Gary and Elaine’s guests avoided the candy, uncertain as to what was edible and was Snowflake the Bird’s “offerings.”
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Sacked out...
Elaine was thrilled to find an embroidery font that accurately captured her own tone when responding to Gary’s daily question, “What’s in the bag?”.
Flights of fancy...
I’m a little surprised, Elaine. One great flight to Amsterdam and suddenly you’re sending our linens to the embroiderer.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Taking flight...
Elaine, I’m running to Costco - we’re down to our last feather in the guest bathroom!
Armed combat...
Elaine, if pillow fights aren’t a legitimate aspect of couples therapy, Dr. Werner shouldn’t have so many pillows at arm’s reach.
December 2011
28 posts
Color me disappointed...
Sorry you didn’t get that book you really wanted for Christmas Elaine, but as you can see our yellow book quadrant is at capacity.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →