May 2013
4 posts
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
A chilling conclusion...
Gary and Elaine stared mournfully at the starfish that had turned blue in the cold, innocent victims of Premature Seasonal Decorating.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Beer necessities...
Despite their slow-moving nature, the starfish knew that if they worked together they could successfully drag the Corona back to their lair.
April 2013
10 posts
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Fit to be tied...
Coming home early from her meeting, Elaine made a mental note that in the future it might be best to put the twine and mannequin somewhere Gary couldn’t find them.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
You're pulleying my leg...
I appreciate your preparedness Gary, but I hope it never comes to the point where we need a fishing net and a pulley to get you out of bed.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
His number's up...
Elaine, how come whenever I misplace my brown paper bag with the number 26 all over it, behind the lamp on my bedside table is always the last place I look?
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Bringing home the bacon...
I don’t care how warm it is outside Elaine. We hired that pig to perform a job and now I’m going to have to pedal those flowers off the porch myself.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Catalog Living featured on the Pottery Barn blog! →
March 2013
8 posts
Log-in unsuccessful...
Yes, of course I’ve built a fire before, Elaine. Why do you ask?
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Short shelf life...
I don’t know, Elaine. When you said you needed a shelf for bathroom supplies, I guess I was picturing things like soaps and toilet paper.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
The agony of the seat...
Doris the white chair wondered why she was always the one left holding the fruit and jar of rocks while the other chairs had fun chasing each other around.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Ruffling his feathers...
As well as seasonal work paid, the chick couldn’t help but feel his master’s degree was being wasted.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
February 2013
11 posts
Pucker up...
Gary, I’m not sure how me saying “put the limes out” translates to “give the limes bunny ears and put them in a rock sculpture.”
Shedding some light on it...
Gary and Elaine’s guests would be angrier about their guest room being outside if they weren’t so preoccupied with trying to figure out what the light fixture was wired to.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
High strung...
Frankly Gary, I’ve been so busy I’m amazed I’ve found the time to keep our twine spool jar full.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Basket case...
It wasn’t until Elaine experimented with angle and positioning that she finally found the perfect spot for her woven basket of torn-out atlas pages.
Take it or leaf it...
It wasn’t until after the party that Gary and Elaine realized their guests may have stayed away from the bar because they were intimidated by the garnish.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Not giving a ship...
Gary was always amazed how Elaine could so clearly say “I don’t care about your sailboat sculpture” with just a few pairs of sunglasses.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
January 2013
13 posts
Something wicker this way comes...
The wicker ball peered into the mirror, wondering where the time had gone and how life’s path had led him away from his childhood dream of becoming patio furniture.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Tick tock you should stop...
First of all Gary, the song isn’t “Time on a Bottle.” Second, just put away the wine and stop singing.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Getting the picture...
Eyeing the two-dimensional stack of books, the chairs wondered if someday they too would be obsolete.
Not easy being green...
Although Gary and Elaine were pleased to be conserving water with their new artificial lawn, they regretted the side effect of it attracting artificial wildlife.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed... →
Sticking her neck out...
I’m not kidding, Gary, This kiwi is so tart I’m going to have to take off my necklace to eat it.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Spring into inaction...
Well, yet another toy the pillow refuses to play with. I hate to say this Elaine, but sometimes I think our living room accents are a little spoiled.
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Gary and Elaine are taking a brief hiatus...
Gary and Elaine’s full-size manger scene made entirely of shells was certainly impressive, but taking it down has proven more time consuming than anticipated. They’ll be back in a couple of weeks.
Wishing you overflowing decorative fruit bowls in 2013!
On the brink of insanta-ty...
Santa found it nearly impossible to enjoy his downtime since he could never leave the house without his annoying neighbor Gladys running over to show him her newest bird.
December 2012
15 posts
It's a ruff life...
It seems a little unfair to give only two of the dogs candy in their stocking, Elaine. And while we’re on the topic, it may also be a little unfair to have given only two of them names.
Today's Magazine Living post on Curbed.com... →
Skirting the issue...
I don’t care if their name is lowercase and in brackets or not, the Smiths are NOT bringing their own tree skirt this year, or my last name isn’t William.
