January 2012
26 posts
Wooden you know it...
As Gary peered into Aunt Martha’s bag, he got a clue as to why women’s purses are always so heavy.
Neutral territory...
“Decals?” Gary yelled, incredulous that their house didn’t actually overlook a black and white pond and forest preserve.
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The great cover up...
Elaine wasn’t sure what Gary was reading, but she hoped for his sake it was the latest issue of How to Tell a Rug From a Blanket.
Conch as conch can...
Elaine, I’m bored of spying on the neighbors. What do you say you slide that shell tray out from under the sofa and let’s have some real fun?
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Foreign policy...
Elaine, I know you put these reminders up throughout the house, but I’m still having a devil of a time trying to learn our new exchange student’s name.
Perchance to dream...
Elaine, I say we lower those butterflies another foot. Then at least she’ll have to work for it if she wants to come into our bedroom in the middle of the night.
Labor of no love...
Elaine, don’t you think we’re limiting ourselves by scheduling these truffle hunts so far in advance?
The best part of waking up...
Gary, I don’t think I’m saying anything particularly surprising when I tell you this was not your best breakfast effort.
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Pillow talk...
Following the throw pillow stampede, all that remained of Aunt Judy was her trademark purple hat.
Gone to pot...
Gary was unable to come to terms with the impractical realities of Elaine’s claim that “keeping plants in pots is so 2011.”
Beachy keen...
It took some work, but Gary was confident Elaine would finally stop whining about wanting an “open concept” home.
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Saguaro, so good.
Elaine came home a few minutes early, just in time to catch Gary’s cactus wedding recessional.
File under unnecessary...
A ship in a bottle is old news Elaine. Feast your eyes on…business files in a lamp base!
Check out my guest post on the very funny Etsy... →
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Dropping in...
Gary and Elaine’s guests avoided the candy, uncertain as to what was edible and was Snowflake the Bird’s “offerings.”
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Sacked out...
Elaine was thrilled to find an embroidery font that accurately captured her own tone when responding to Gary’s daily question, “What’s in the bag?”.
Flights of fancy...
I’m a little surprised, Elaine. One great flight to Amsterdam and suddenly you’re sending our linens to the embroiderer.
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Taking flight...
Elaine, I’m running to Costco - we’re down to our last feather in the guest bathroom!
Armed combat...
Elaine, if pillow fights aren’t a legitimate aspect of couples therapy, Dr. Werner shouldn’t have so many pillows at arm’s reach.
December 2011
28 posts
Color me disappointed...
Sorry you didn’t get that book you really wanted for Christmas Elaine, but as you can see our yellow book quadrant is at capacity.
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Inception-ally unfortunate...
Gary, every dreidel you’ve spun has stopped. Face it - you’re not in a dream, my parents really are staying with us for a week.
Herbal remedy...
Sorry you’re disappointed Elaine, but when you ask me to get you “something” to drink, there’s a chance that thing is going to be a rosemary sprig.
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Tied up in knots...
Elaine, I thought the idea was to tie a cherry stem in your mouth, although frankly this is much more impressive and dangerous.
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Congratulations to the caption contest winner!
Christmas was that magical time of year when Elaine could almost believe that somewhere, someone had a Frosty entertaining set with a Santa tea pot who would be willing to trade.
Submitted by: Amy Lew Alexander
This was a tough (and, of course, entirely subjective) decision. I was overwhelmed by the number of clever entries. Thanks to everyone who played along! Hopefully there will be more...
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Due for a long winter's nap...
Their stockings were hung in the entryway with care, in hopes that Gary would find a better place than behind the seasonal Amaryllis to put his antique skis.
Caption if you can...
Don’t forget to enter the caption contest by 11pm PST tomorrow!
Lesson number one...
It just means “bathroom”? Well Elaine, I thought it meant “do not disturb,” and now I’ve had an accident.
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Rolling with it...
Elaine, something about this festive winter display doesn’t seem quite right. Perhaps sprinkle artificial snow on both dice?
Strict adherence...
Yes Gary, be sure to pat yourself on the back as much as you can now for your oven mitt “storage solution,” because I’m pretty sure that tape won’t hold forever.
Catalog Living's first caption contest!
The fine folks at RAMSIGN are sponsoring our first ever caption contest! RAMSIGN is a Danish company specializing in custom hand-stenciled enamel house number and name signs. The winner will receive his or her choice of customized number or name plate, shipped free anywhere in the world!
Number plates can include up to five digits, and name plates can include up to five lines of up to 27...
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Taking a cat nap...
Next time Elaine, you check and see why your sister hasn’t come down for dinner yet.
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Swab the deck...
Elaine couldn’t fault Gary’s deductive reasoning, but she also couldn’t help chuckle every time he called a Q-Tip an Adam.
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Reindeer games...
By the time Gary and Elaine noticed that their seasonal throw pillows were missing, the rattan reindeer robbers were already making their escape.
Moosing out...
As Elaine rested the bottle of White Zinfindel in his mouth, Floyd wondered if this really was better than being road kill.
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