November 2010
28 posts
Take it inside...
“NO MORE PICNICS!!!” Gary yelled with satisfaction as he sent the sled flying down the hill.
Nighttime is the right time...
Waking up to a freshly ironed dress and a half-eaten watermelon, Gary suspected Elaine was back on Ambien.
Birds of a feather...
Gary and Elaine’s Thanksgiving Weekend Schedule
Thursday: Deep-fry turkey. Have dinner in dining room #6.
Friday: Line up early at Pottery Barn to replace incinerated, peanut oil-soaked deck furniture
Saturday: Switch out gourd display with bowl of glittered chestnuts
Sunday: Get a jump on this year’s caroling.
Happy Thanksgiving! We’ll be back on Monday.
Gary! ...
Seeking shelter...
Until we bought this new console, Gary and I had no idea where to put our discarded art!
Ready to go...
With her new system in place, Elaine never headed to the store again without her shopping bag or shopping necklace.
Gary and Elaine think it would really baste their turkey if you checked out exclusive holiday posts on babble.com.
High strung...
Yet another one of Gary’s violin lessons that ended in a tantrum before he even opened the case.
Countdown to breakdown...
Elaine! I’ve told you that when you rearrange the pillows it confuses me.
For goodness' sake...
Elaine may have had to sell my favorite side table on Ebay, but that’s not going to stop me from my afternoon Sake ritual.
Heating things up...
Kindling? Check. Two dozen votives? Check. Gingerbread family on their way to a nice insurance settlement? Check.
Getting a little rusty...
Gary knew he could hide whatever he wanted to in what Elaine referred to as the “Tetanus Table.”
Hoping for balance...
Gary sat down to pay the bills, but not before a quick prayer to his statue of Murph, patron saint of Quicken.
Living in a bacterial world...
Gary and Elaine are confident 2011 will be the year of “Petri Dish Chic” wall art.
Ebb and flow...
Gary and Elaine ran down to the water, giggling like children in anticipation of the first dresser of the season washing ashore.
Never forget...
By placing the severed hand and horse sculptures next to each other, Gary created a disturbing but cathartic shrine to their ill-fated Arizona trip.
Never stop learning...
Elaine brewed a pot of coffee, removed her special “learning glasses” from under the bell jar, and sat down to tackle the “-all” spelling list that had given her such trouble her whole life.
Don't lose your head...
The kids have been eating a lot fewer cookies ever since Gary started making decapitated reindeer noises every time they open the jar.
Waxing nostalgic...
After lighting the wicks, Gary listened with a heavy heart as the squirrel and porcupine discussed their plans for that night.
Against the grain...
Elaine! The owl had an accident.
Silent night, creepy night...
All right Taylor, we’ve hung your Christmas stocking, put out milk and cookies for Santa, and completed the traditional Holiday Mounting of the Baby Knitwear.
Evergreen with envy...
Another Christmas, another level of hatred Todd has for Thompson.
Blind spot...
Elaine had the mirrors installed after last year’s party when she came out of the kitchen too fast and t-boned Dr. McManus.
Let this be a warning...
Gracie has been going to bed promptly at 8:00 ever since Elaine put up the pictures of “other daughters they gave away because they stayed up too late.”
Pocket protectors...
Gary did not appreciate the casualness of the Santa candles, and vowed to burn them at once.
Polar opposites...
They brought out the penguin plates every year, but it wasn’t until just now that Gary recognized the lusty and sad tale of adultery and single parenthood depicted in them.
Keeping it caged up...
Elaine always wondered, but never asked, what Gary meant when he said the ornament of the child in the birdcage reminded him of his childhood.
Words to live by...
As Elaine was fond of saying, life is just seven precariously stacked bowls of cherries plus a couple of lychees for good measure.
One cup of cluelessness...
Gary never claimed to be much of a cook, and after accidentally adding one tablespoon of good spirits he was pretty sure he’d ruined the day.