July 2010
33 posts
Don't leave me hanging...
Gary, the next time I ask you to “hang the lanterns,” would you please just do it like a normal person?
Light my fire...
Gary loved the danger of putting wood chairs so close to the fire bowl, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that the dancing figures were mocking him.
Tempted by it...
Elaine just wasn’t ready to take on the task of reading Fruit, but there it sat, taunting her.
A grand display...
My shadowbox is two pages from my favorite book, a photo of a pond near our summer cottage, and a branch I found on a walk. Gary’s is…well, a little weird.
Your move...
Elaine was concerned that Gary was drinking too much soda, so she kept them by her feet at all times. To retaliate, Gary threatened to loosen the umbrella buoys.
Time to come clean...
Gary has no idea what exactly Elaine does in the shower every day, but he certainly knows better than to touch her wooden shower spoon or shower branch.
The world is a blur...
Gary’s eyesight has gotten so bad he can’t even read an atlas with binoculars anymore.
Light up the sky...
Gary hung the chandelier for me as a surprise. Why heavens no, I’ve never raised my head enough to see what it’s hanging from. Let’s just enjoy our limes under glass.
A 50/50 shot...
Someday when Elaine is out of town I’m going to find out once and for all if those are sports balls or gourds.
A little too quiet...
Elaine had never felt more alone than when the tumbleweed interrupted her afternoon of reading and plowing through some bottled water.
You're getting colder...
Elaine finally found a place where Gary wouldn’t find her prized albino apples.
Liquid diet...
Elaine, you said “Make whatever you want for dinner,” and I want those bottles of white zin I stole from the Sheraton minibar.
Private property...
Gary Jr. painstakingly straightened his Star Wars figures after once again catching his dad playing with them.
Chewy on the inside...
Gary, I can tell you’re chewing something and I told you the mossballs are for our guests!
Staying warm...
Sure Gary’s out of town, but I’m perfectly capable of starting a fire in the fireplace by myself, thank you very much.
Space is at a premium...
Gary got the idea from a parking lot in New York. Sure the kids get rope burns climbing into bed, but their upper-body strength is amazing.
History's mystery...
Elaine was certain there was a mistake in the latest arrival from the First Ladies Towel of the Month Club, but then she did a little research about Zachary Taylor and his lovely wife Margaret.
Boys in their hoods...
Nathan, for the last time, your shark robe hood does NOT have “shark breath.” Put it back on.
Promptness is encouraged...
If you find yourself the last to arrive at Gary and Elaine’s dinner party, you’d better enjoy sitting on swivel stools and staring at images of a haunted forest all night.
Floral arrangements...
Vase? Elaine, I swear you said plate.
Keep your hobbies to yourself...
Gary, we were having such a lovely afternoon with the Andersons until you decided you just had to show off your string ball.
Get your game on...
If you go to Game Night at Gary and Elaine’s, you can count on playing at least a few rounds of Wood Fish.
Pest control...
Not only are they super-cute, but ever since we installed these nets our household cases of malaria are down 75%!
Out of the closet...
While Gary and Elaine were in the kitchen getting popcorn, the brave yellow sweater attempted its escape.
Sit on it...
Gary, I just can’t believe that after months of research that’s the chair you chose.
We are family...
Secretly, Gary had always wondered if all these children were indeed his.
Before you leave...
Our entryway set-up is great! Now I never forget my hat, burlap satchel, or life preserver.
Hungry for more...
After Elaine left the table with tears in her eyes, Gary knew he should have held back his comment that the starfish were a little chewy.
Learning from the past...
Last year at the 4th of July party, Karen shattered Gary’s ship-in-a-bottle. This year Gary felt it appropriate to remind her.
Reading is fundamental...
Just in case anyone doubted that Gary and Elaine valued books over television, Gary brought in the secondary book stool to drive the point home.
Alive with flavor...
I don’t know, Elaine. I think it could still use more lime.
BYOB...
Elaine calls it a “blend-it-yourself” party. Everyone else calls it an “Elaine-has-gotten-lazy” party.
Ready for anything...
Leaving my basket of secondary shells under the table allows me to rotate in new shells at a moment’s notice!